Annoying Questions

Since Time Passed

Preface: With a certain humility, I submit to you that there are some good thoughts in this post. Please try to read it all the way through. There may be some off-putting comments on the way, but I will explain them if you'll just finish reading. 

It's been over a year since I've blogged here so I won't try too hard to catch you up on every thing that's gone on since my last post. The short version is that I've kept up with the goals I set out with. I'm probably another 30-40 lbs lighter, did another Spartan Sprint with my dad, brother, and Deborah with a finishing time of around 2 hrs 48 minutes, had set backs, gained some weight back, slapped myself around, lost the weight, and challenged myself in one of my greater past failures by returning to kung-fu.

Yea...that about sums it up.

Something I wanted to blog about specifically though was one particularly annoying question. It's not necessarily the question that bothers me; it's the intent or lack thereof behind it. It's like asking How are you? while passing someone in the hall. Seriously? If you expect that they can answer that while you pass each other's stride, you either already know or don't really care. It's not meant as a meanness, really. It's more of a social nicety done at places like Church and work.

So, what's the question I'm harping at? It's this: What have you done to lose all that weight? 

It's a question, I think, that is intended more often than not as a compliment. It acknowledges "Hey, I see your body is changing and that's great." It immediately moves into the territory of moping though. "...I, however, don't like my body..."or "I wish I could lose weight" or (and my favorite) "my body just doesn't lose weight as easily as others."

Lets do each other a favor here. I call bullshit on those last two. Did you put on weight by eating a single cheeseburger? Or by having a depressing bout where you devoured half a dozen donuts (hey, I've done it)? Here's the hard fact: losing weight is hard. It's brutal and difficult work. Weight-loss isn't for sissies. It's for people ready to grow their minds and bodies by force of will into something better than yesterday's body.

What bothers me here is that this question is not a simple one. It's not a soup question. If you really want to know how to lose weight, I could tell you how I did it and impart a good amount of direction to you; however, you will still have to answer the question of What do I need to change in my life? 

I think people approach weight-loss like a dirty house. There's so much to clean so they nibble at each bit little by little...but, in the end, don't feel like they've cleaned up anything significant. In the same way it's sooo each to get over whelmed. If you google how to lose weight you will find a million articles claiming so called bullet proof techniques, meal plans, work outs, etc, etc. But being the diligent person you are with a true intent to change your life you read as much as you can. And here's the problem. Not only did you find a million articles, you found a million contradictory articles. One says running is great. Another says running is bad for you. One says 'Yea, sure, you can run, but do it after your weight training and limit your cardio because it puts BAD chemicals in your body'. Then you read about something called HIIT that directs you to work out in intervals of high intensity work followed by lower intensity intervals and you've absolutely no idea what that is or how to apply it.

Guys...I've been there. That pit, right there, is hell. You want nothing more than to change, but you can't figure out how. And the health industry capitalizes on our ignorance.

So this is the long and short of why this question of How do I lose weight bothers me: it's because I believe I really know some very good ways to help you...but you can't ask me while passing me by. And (my personal pet peeve) you do me and yourself a disservice when I try to answer your question and its longer than you expected and you'd rather just move on with your day than hear me out. I truly care about this stuff because it's freeing. I'm losing weight to be the best dad I can for my girl when we finally bring her home from India (we're adopting internationally in case you didn't know).

So...I believe my rants over. Here's how I lost my weight and I think these techniques are fairly universal. It's not going to be easy. You didn't get to where you are over night and you won't get to where you want to be overnight either. Its consistency that will win out. I read something somewhere that said when trying to lose weight it takes about 4 weeks for you to notice changes in your own body, 6 weeks for your family to notice, and 8 weeks for everyone else. At this point, I have people I only see in the elevator of my parking garage commenting on my weightless. I don't know these people. My memory sucks. I don't ever remember seeing them. Still, they see it.

So, here are my most helpful and humble suggestions for you:

* baby steps. You want to change your life in a way that will become a habit. Turning what you eat upside down overnight means you're dieting. Its a recipe for failure. Its like quitting cold turkey. Some can do it...but, more often than not, most can't.

* Log your eating. I'm kicking myself on this one. I've been working at weightloss for a little over a year, but with no sure record of what weeks were great for me or what I did during those weeks to make them great. Only since this month have I begun using MyFitnessPal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) religiously. It's awesome. Get the phone app too. That makes logging what you eat super easy as it lets you just scan the barcodes.

* Be loud about your plans. When I began, I wanted accountability. So I announced my weight on face book. I gave updates on my plans on facebook. I told my friends. I told my family. I am so driven by affirmation of others (not the best way to do this by the way) that after having been so loud I couldn't bare the thought of failure. That motivated me. Over time, my motivation matured to something more healthy: my little girl. Granted, she was the catalyst for me to really get serious...but when you start this path, you will find all your personal demons coming out of the wood works to speak poison in your mind. Make no mistake, this change is about growing your mind as much as your body.

Also, currently, my profile on myfitnesspal is public. I'm a very heart on my sleeve kind of person. I will wear my accomplishments and failures for all to see. My friends will hold me accountable should it come to that. On the whole though, I think it to be encouraging to others to see this kind of thing...to know that you don't have to be perfect; that we all screw up. Life isn't about our failures. I believe that our success is the sum of the number of times we've gotten back on our feet after failing. In the end, our failures build us, mold us, and strengthen us. And so....I wear mine on my sleeve (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/jasonbaisden?date=2014-05-05).

* An overused used, common knowledge one, but so very, very true. DRINK WATER. Aim for 2 to 3 liters a day. 2 liters is just 4 of those 16 oz bottles. You can have that knocked out before dinner: one with breakfast, one between breakfast and lunch, one with lunch, one between lunch and dinner. Most sources will tell you to only drink water and green tea or black coffee. I'll confess to you that I have a rather unhealthy coffee habit. I probably drink between 24-36 oz a day with 3 splenda and some creamer in it. Mind you, this isn't Starbucks. I say this not to dissuade you from cutting out on the coffee creamer and sugar, but I do want you to know that it won't prevent you from weight loss, though, it may make your strike a tad slower.

* Eat real food. Stay away from processed crap as much as you can. Surprisingly, Target is about the only place I've found that has frozen dinner type stuff that seems made with mostly real food. Look over my MFP account and check out my lunches. A lot of that will be from Target. Now, I will say Target is kind of pricey. It's a trade off. I'm paying more for simplicity and saving a bit of time. To do it right, the wiser thing would be to chose a day to make my week's food, and freeze it into containers. I'm just not there yet. And I've been doing this over a year. Growing takes time.

* Pick one meal and fix it. Chose breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Figure out something that is both healthy and something you don't mind eating habitually. Or, pick 2 or 3 things, but all the same meal type. Alternate between them. Once you feel like you have that down, pick another, then another. I find I still have trouble with weekends, so a good plan there might be to plan out the whole weekends food before friday comes.

* Exercise will greatly expedite weight loss. I know very few people that have an iron clad will to change life and just eat great food for their bodies. I don't even do that. Exercise gives me some room to breath here. Mind you, I'm not saying go do your spin class so you can have your Bigmac or a donut. I am saying, though, that if you burn 500 calories, a 110 chocolate pudding snack, or pack of crackers isn't going to kill your days progress.

For me, I'm finding that classes at the YMCA are a great help. My current schedule is a 15 minute abs class followed by a 45 Spin class on Mon, Wed, Fri. I do kung fu on Thuesdays and Thursdays. I wish I had more actual muscle toning in there, but, for weightless, this works great for me. Still, on day 1 when I started exercising, I did couch to 5k. That was running. I lost 30 lbs just doing that. And, for reference, HIIT really is a thing and a very effective form of training at that (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training). If you see something with the word Tabata in it, that will likely do you good. If you want to just work out at home, something like DailyBurn (http://dailyburn.com/devices) might be a great for you. In short, you want exercise that will get you breathing hard, sweating hard, and ramp up your heart rate. You want your body to work at a far greater capacity than its used to. Everyone once and a while, take a rest, let your heart rate come down, but not to a full rest. Then kick it back up. I believe if you're doing things that make your body work like that, it's good exercise. If what you're doing doesn't push your body, it won't yield results in weightloss (in my humble and very un-certified opinion).

* Be mindful. Myfitnesspal is a great tracking tool, but use it with a bit of discernment. For example, on my sugars, I'm not going to worry too much I've I overshot because I had an apple or two. In the same way, if I'm eating something mostly wholesome and natural, like a Kashi granola bar, I'm not going to fret very much if I overshoot my calorie budget. MFP is there to give you a baseline so you don't go nuts...but, keep your head about you anyhow.

* Pick something. Pick a meal plan and some exercises. Still with it for a while. If we are the sum of our choices, then several small ones will add up to big change in your life. In the end you'll be the better for it.

* Choose a challenge. For example, while I was woefully out of shape and in dire need of change, I challenged myself to prepare for the Spartan Sprint. It was an absolute crazy thing to do. It changed my life. That change overflowed to my family even. We are all the healthier for it. The point here is that your pushing yourself to be do better today than you did yesterday. Its hard to see where that will lead when you're stuck in the here and now. Be patient. Be consistent. Believe in yourself.

So...I guess that's my answer to how I lost my weight and continue to keep at it today. I hope it wasn't too preachy or didn't come off haughty. I mean these things in a sincere attempt to answer the question I'm so often asked at work, but seem to so rarely answer in a manner that satisfies.