Annoying Questions

Since Time Passed

Preface: With a certain humility, I submit to you that there are some good thoughts in this post. Please try to read it all the way through. There may be some off-putting comments on the way, but I will explain them if you'll just finish reading. 

It's been over a year since I've blogged here so I won't try too hard to catch you up on every thing that's gone on since my last post. The short version is that I've kept up with the goals I set out with. I'm probably another 30-40 lbs lighter, did another Spartan Sprint with my dad, brother, and Deborah with a finishing time of around 2 hrs 48 minutes, had set backs, gained some weight back, slapped myself around, lost the weight, and challenged myself in one of my greater past failures by returning to kung-fu.

Yea...that about sums it up.

Something I wanted to blog about specifically though was one particularly annoying question. It's not necessarily the question that bothers me; it's the intent or lack thereof behind it. It's like asking How are you? while passing someone in the hall. Seriously? If you expect that they can answer that while you pass each other's stride, you either already know or don't really care. It's not meant as a meanness, really. It's more of a social nicety done at places like Church and work.

So, what's the question I'm harping at? It's this: What have you done to lose all that weight? 

It's a question, I think, that is intended more often than not as a compliment. It acknowledges "Hey, I see your body is changing and that's great." It immediately moves into the territory of moping though. "...I, however, don't like my body..."or "I wish I could lose weight" or (and my favorite) "my body just doesn't lose weight as easily as others."

Lets do each other a favor here. I call bullshit on those last two. Did you put on weight by eating a single cheeseburger? Or by having a depressing bout where you devoured half a dozen donuts (hey, I've done it)? Here's the hard fact: losing weight is hard. It's brutal and difficult work. Weight-loss isn't for sissies. It's for people ready to grow their minds and bodies by force of will into something better than yesterday's body.

What bothers me here is that this question is not a simple one. It's not a soup question. If you really want to know how to lose weight, I could tell you how I did it and impart a good amount of direction to you; however, you will still have to answer the question of What do I need to change in my life? 

I think people approach weight-loss like a dirty house. There's so much to clean so they nibble at each bit little by little...but, in the end, don't feel like they've cleaned up anything significant. In the same way it's sooo each to get over whelmed. If you google how to lose weight you will find a million articles claiming so called bullet proof techniques, meal plans, work outs, etc, etc. But being the diligent person you are with a true intent to change your life you read as much as you can. And here's the problem. Not only did you find a million articles, you found a million contradictory articles. One says running is great. Another says running is bad for you. One says 'Yea, sure, you can run, but do it after your weight training and limit your cardio because it puts BAD chemicals in your body'. Then you read about something called HIIT that directs you to work out in intervals of high intensity work followed by lower intensity intervals and you've absolutely no idea what that is or how to apply it.

Guys...I've been there. That pit, right there, is hell. You want nothing more than to change, but you can't figure out how. And the health industry capitalizes on our ignorance.

So this is the long and short of why this question of How do I lose weight bothers me: it's because I believe I really know some very good ways to help you...but you can't ask me while passing me by. And (my personal pet peeve) you do me and yourself a disservice when I try to answer your question and its longer than you expected and you'd rather just move on with your day than hear me out. I truly care about this stuff because it's freeing. I'm losing weight to be the best dad I can for my girl when we finally bring her home from India (we're adopting internationally in case you didn't know).

So...I believe my rants over. Here's how I lost my weight and I think these techniques are fairly universal. It's not going to be easy. You didn't get to where you are over night and you won't get to where you want to be overnight either. Its consistency that will win out. I read something somewhere that said when trying to lose weight it takes about 4 weeks for you to notice changes in your own body, 6 weeks for your family to notice, and 8 weeks for everyone else. At this point, I have people I only see in the elevator of my parking garage commenting on my weightless. I don't know these people. My memory sucks. I don't ever remember seeing them. Still, they see it.

So, here are my most helpful and humble suggestions for you:

* baby steps. You want to change your life in a way that will become a habit. Turning what you eat upside down overnight means you're dieting. Its a recipe for failure. Its like quitting cold turkey. Some can do it...but, more often than not, most can't.

* Log your eating. I'm kicking myself on this one. I've been working at weightloss for a little over a year, but with no sure record of what weeks were great for me or what I did during those weeks to make them great. Only since this month have I begun using MyFitnessPal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) religiously. It's awesome. Get the phone app too. That makes logging what you eat super easy as it lets you just scan the barcodes.

* Be loud about your plans. When I began, I wanted accountability. So I announced my weight on face book. I gave updates on my plans on facebook. I told my friends. I told my family. I am so driven by affirmation of others (not the best way to do this by the way) that after having been so loud I couldn't bare the thought of failure. That motivated me. Over time, my motivation matured to something more healthy: my little girl. Granted, she was the catalyst for me to really get serious...but when you start this path, you will find all your personal demons coming out of the wood works to speak poison in your mind. Make no mistake, this change is about growing your mind as much as your body.

Also, currently, my profile on myfitnesspal is public. I'm a very heart on my sleeve kind of person. I will wear my accomplishments and failures for all to see. My friends will hold me accountable should it come to that. On the whole though, I think it to be encouraging to others to see this kind of thing...to know that you don't have to be perfect; that we all screw up. Life isn't about our failures. I believe that our success is the sum of the number of times we've gotten back on our feet after failing. In the end, our failures build us, mold us, and strengthen us. And so....I wear mine on my sleeve (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/jasonbaisden?date=2014-05-05).

* An overused used, common knowledge one, but so very, very true. DRINK WATER. Aim for 2 to 3 liters a day. 2 liters is just 4 of those 16 oz bottles. You can have that knocked out before dinner: one with breakfast, one between breakfast and lunch, one with lunch, one between lunch and dinner. Most sources will tell you to only drink water and green tea or black coffee. I'll confess to you that I have a rather unhealthy coffee habit. I probably drink between 24-36 oz a day with 3 splenda and some creamer in it. Mind you, this isn't Starbucks. I say this not to dissuade you from cutting out on the coffee creamer and sugar, but I do want you to know that it won't prevent you from weight loss, though, it may make your strike a tad slower.

* Eat real food. Stay away from processed crap as much as you can. Surprisingly, Target is about the only place I've found that has frozen dinner type stuff that seems made with mostly real food. Look over my MFP account and check out my lunches. A lot of that will be from Target. Now, I will say Target is kind of pricey. It's a trade off. I'm paying more for simplicity and saving a bit of time. To do it right, the wiser thing would be to chose a day to make my week's food, and freeze it into containers. I'm just not there yet. And I've been doing this over a year. Growing takes time.

* Pick one meal and fix it. Chose breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Figure out something that is both healthy and something you don't mind eating habitually. Or, pick 2 or 3 things, but all the same meal type. Alternate between them. Once you feel like you have that down, pick another, then another. I find I still have trouble with weekends, so a good plan there might be to plan out the whole weekends food before friday comes.

* Exercise will greatly expedite weight loss. I know very few people that have an iron clad will to change life and just eat great food for their bodies. I don't even do that. Exercise gives me some room to breath here. Mind you, I'm not saying go do your spin class so you can have your Bigmac or a donut. I am saying, though, that if you burn 500 calories, a 110 chocolate pudding snack, or pack of crackers isn't going to kill your days progress.

For me, I'm finding that classes at the YMCA are a great help. My current schedule is a 15 minute abs class followed by a 45 Spin class on Mon, Wed, Fri. I do kung fu on Thuesdays and Thursdays. I wish I had more actual muscle toning in there, but, for weightless, this works great for me. Still, on day 1 when I started exercising, I did couch to 5k. That was running. I lost 30 lbs just doing that. And, for reference, HIIT really is a thing and a very effective form of training at that (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training). If you see something with the word Tabata in it, that will likely do you good. If you want to just work out at home, something like DailyBurn (http://dailyburn.com/devices) might be a great for you. In short, you want exercise that will get you breathing hard, sweating hard, and ramp up your heart rate. You want your body to work at a far greater capacity than its used to. Everyone once and a while, take a rest, let your heart rate come down, but not to a full rest. Then kick it back up. I believe if you're doing things that make your body work like that, it's good exercise. If what you're doing doesn't push your body, it won't yield results in weightloss (in my humble and very un-certified opinion).

* Be mindful. Myfitnesspal is a great tracking tool, but use it with a bit of discernment. For example, on my sugars, I'm not going to worry too much I've I overshot because I had an apple or two. In the same way, if I'm eating something mostly wholesome and natural, like a Kashi granola bar, I'm not going to fret very much if I overshoot my calorie budget. MFP is there to give you a baseline so you don't go nuts...but, keep your head about you anyhow.

* Pick something. Pick a meal plan and some exercises. Still with it for a while. If we are the sum of our choices, then several small ones will add up to big change in your life. In the end you'll be the better for it.

* Choose a challenge. For example, while I was woefully out of shape and in dire need of change, I challenged myself to prepare for the Spartan Sprint. It was an absolute crazy thing to do. It changed my life. That change overflowed to my family even. We are all the healthier for it. The point here is that your pushing yourself to be do better today than you did yesterday. Its hard to see where that will lead when you're stuck in the here and now. Be patient. Be consistent. Believe in yourself.

So...I guess that's my answer to how I lost my weight and continue to keep at it today. I hope it wasn't too preachy or didn't come off haughty. I mean these things in a sincere attempt to answer the question I'm so often asked at work, but seem to so rarely answer in a manner that satisfies.

This...Is...Sparta!!!!

The Spartan Life 

So most of you know that I've had several goals since late May. Primarily given that Dani and I are adopting, my "ah-ha!" moment came: I really need to be healthier. I need to lose this weight for my girl. Secondly, and only a week after firmly deciding that I need start doing that, I found out about a race series called the Spartan. I found a deal to sign up for one called the Spartan Sprint. This amounts to a 5k mud run / obstacle course / burpee challenge....and that's putting it kindly. So...from May until October, several of my friends and I trained hard for this race. In the process I lost over 40 lbs, overcame many demons of self-doubt, and began to truly believe in myself; to believe that I'm capable of things beyond myself; that the Bible is literal when it says "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength".

Before the Race

October 19th - Race Day

My friends and I, team DragonClaw as it were, arrive for the race. It's funny how you wistfully ask for challenges, get what you asked for, and are immediately regretful for opening your stupid mouth. In my case, I had mentioned to my friends that we needed to train soaking wet to account for the water weight we'll have on the course. The idea of a mud run was also mistakenly glorified in my minds-eye. On race day, I got both. The course, as I came to find out, ended up having a split of about 20% river/stream, 68% shoe sucking mud that often had an appetite for feet, ankles, and knees, and, perhaps, 12% navigable land that was kind of/sort of dry...but even that may be an exaggeration.

You see, this Spartan Sprint clocked in at about 4.2 miles of course, 15 or so obstacles, and mud.

Mud.

Mud, mud, mud, mud,  mud,  mud, mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud,mud, and more mud.

After the Race...and a shower!

Seriously. The amount of mud cannot be described with humans words. Perhaps a series of manly grunts, screams, cries, and growls are a better indicator of the overwhelming amounts of mud.

The preparation my team and I did did not go to waste. When we had begun training, I couldn't do 2 burpees without getting winded. In this race, the tagline that's unique to the Spartan races, is if you can't do an obstacle, and typically you get one shot and that's it, you have to do 30 burpees. At this venue there wasn't really anyone enforcing that. Still, I trained for these damn burpees and I was going to wear this wound with pride. I estimate that I had to burpee something like 5-7 obstacles. So, I did, at best guess, a minimum of 150 burpees, to a mind numbing 210. Somewhere between that.



The effects of exhaustion

Now I'm not going to play up the drama here. I wasn't about to fall over. I had an idea of how long it'd take me to finish this course; I did not, however, factor the mud into the time. I also knew that I would be doing a lot of burpees. I mean, A LOT of burpees. I'll also fess up and say that the burpees I did were half-burpees. With all of that said, and so much counting, I found myself dazed and stumbling through the course and my brain kept counting. Always to 30. It was utterly maddening. It made it seems that even when I wasn't doing burpees my brain was processing the trauma of the burpees to come and getting a good 'ol jump on those counts.

Triumphs

While there were several obstacles I failed, there were an even greater number of them that I could do. I felt pretty confident with all of the strength related obstacles. They proved harder than I thought, but I managed them. The Hercules Hoist had me lifting about 100 lbs of concrete via a rope stringed through a pulley. This began the first of a great many manly grunts. Later was a part where I had to lift from the ground a 75 lbs (give or take) block of concrete, carry it 15 yards, do 5 burpees, then carry it back. Again, I squatted down, grunted and heaved, and picked that concrete up and fought through. Then there was a sandbag carry. It must have been at least 50 lbs of sand and it was a very long, muddy (but not quite as muddy) loop you had to carry it through. Lastly, and most proudly, was a wall that was at about 60 or 70 degree . It had a rope. You climbed up it using a combination of arm and leg strength. This was indeed the greatest of my manly grunts. I promise I wasn't doing this to be dramatic. There's something about exertion combined with yelling that yields a greater strength output. This is also one obstacle I hadn't been able to fully train for. It was the end of the course. Almost 4 hours of moving, walking, burpeeing, and moving more. I had one good effort and I was determined to just get up the damn wall. And so I did.

The obstacles aren't on the course. The obstacle is You.

This is the best nugget of wisdom I learned from this was by the inspirational speaker guy (sorry I don't have a better name for him...this guy was really terrific at firing up the Spartan spirit). He mentioned something I had come to learn in my months of training - that on the course the greatest obstacle you will find is yourself. I fought this when I was doing couch to 5k and counting drive ways instead of seconds; when I was pushing my endurance from 1 mile to 2 miles to 4 miles; when I was attempting mock Spartans with my friends where we simulated as best we could the course; when I was fighting self-image and trying so hard to lose weight and all of Satan's minions seemed to besiege my brain with doubt and venom and self-loathing for what I had let myself become. It was truly the hardest thing I have ever  done. And I'm far from finished. But I'm learning that the one principle ingredient for success is self-belief. And that comes from one step at a time. You push yourself one step further; squat that weight a few lbs heavier; take that burn in your workout hotter; strive for your lungs to breath deeper. You do those things and you will grow. Cause and effect. Simple physics really. Only its the furthest thing from simple because the lies the doubtful side of us speak in our heads are not always logical.

I'm not a merry clean slate health wise. I was born with many issues. At present, I have Crohn's disease. I've also been anemic for nearly the whole part of my training and even when I did the race. I have vitamin b12, D, and iron deficiencies.

Now, I'm not an idiot. I've also been seeing a doctor and my GI throughout my training as well. My G.I., in all of his wisdom, kept pushing oral vitamins on me...a person with Crohn's. He also said I needed b12 injections, but wouldn't write a prescription for them. So, yea, I fired him. I also started seeing a new Endocrinologist who prescribed me once a week 50,000 ITU Vitamin D pills. We'll see if that holds. As of race day, I had taken 3 weeks worth. I also have an appointment with a Hematologist, but despite trying to get that set up in September, the soonest I could be seen was 5 days after race day. Bollocks.

It's been hard to tell myself I can rise above these. It's been hard not to day dream of a world where my body worked like it ought; of what I could do if only I were at full potency. But above and beyond these thoughts is the fact that I believe in a God that makes beauty from the broken and shows His strength from the weak. Perhaps, I am what I am in the here and now so that the world can see what He can make out of the least of us. I believe that my story is being written by the finger of God Himself. And not just mine, but everyone's. He loves and plans for all us in very intimate ways and wants so desperately for us to trust Him to let ourselves be part of that plan. And so I have believed. That belief has bought me self-respect, honor, love, and so many other things I can't describe.

I finished this race. It took me 4 hours and 26 seconds - not an enviable time at all. But I finished. I set a goal, strove toward it, and, kicking and screaming and grunting, God brought me through to the other side of that finish line.

The Fear of Failure

So I've been pushing myself since late May. Everyone reaches their breaking point; that point where one more step just can't be taken; or it's all become too hard. We try to aim higher, push harder, lift heavier, move faster...and, yet, on this fabled day, we are found wanting.

What then? What happens? For me, I began by trying to rationalize the failure: lack of sleep, ate a little worse this week, etc, etc. Then our demons come along and "help": you're not cut out for this; maybe the weight you're losing isn't fat but muscle, maybe that success the other day was just a fluke...I mean how could it not be?

What becomes of us when we fail our own expectations? This is a question I have wrestled with on and off through my training. I especially wrestled with it Friday as that was the first time I ever walked out on a crossfit workout. It just seemed too hard; too demanding; and I just didn't have it in me.

I called Dani quite literally in tears. Fear hit me in a massive wave. What if this is just the beginning of a long string of failures? What if my successes were just flukes? What if I regress?

The mind is simultaneously our greatest asset and our greatest enemy. How often does this paranoid line of thinking hit me elsewhere in my life? Holy crap, this stuff in the milk carton might not be milk! This bottled water really isn't bottled water!

Yea...I'm odd, but not even I do that.

This is something everyone probably deals with in their own way. For me...well...since I'm being so melodramatic anyway, why not hollywoodize it? I think back to Alfred asking Bruce Wayne "Why do we fall down"? Bruce Wayne responds "so we can get back up again". So that's where I'm coming from. Failure is only your enemy when you make it final. Every failure before that is fuel. Given my circumstances, I would most certainly rather experience my failures now before this race.

It's interesting that I also don't give myself enough credit. I imagine most of us don't. On Tuesday I set a personal best running record of 33 minutes and 42 seconds of continuous running. I did 2 laps around my neighborhood running circuit. Six weeks ago I didn't think that was something I was capable of. On Thursday, I did my first public running event. It was a 2 mile run in Fondren. Did I run the whole way? No. But I got out and I did it. I ended up still pacing pretty well. Yea for Runtastic.

I've seen steady and consistent gains over my 6+ weeks of training. The law of averages probably had a failure coming my way any day now. And so I count myself blessed that it came.

It's caused me to think about this and my training a lot. I've, of course, considered what I might have done differently. My problem on Friday was an all of nothing mindset. There were specific reps for each exercise and a total number of sets. I couldn't do them. I kept looking at how much further I had to go and it was mentally exhausting. Even so...I could have rid myself of this all or nothing thinking and scaled the workout. If I really can't do x number of reps, then lets pick a number for this set that I can do. If I only do 1, then that's 1 more than 0.

The bottom line here is that failure will happen. There will be set backs. Things might not go as planned. Do not let failure be your end. You are capable of more than you know. Believe in yourself. Don't worry about tomorrow or the next mile. Just focus on the very next step and keep putting one foot in front of the other.